As, I stayed home today instead of going to my yoga teacher’s training class, nursing an injury I inflicted on myself, I had time to do my guided meditation this morning which I hadn’t been practicing in the mornings ever since I started the course. Before I meditated, I began synchronising some of the teachings that I had been learning in regards to practicing Sadhana for self-realisation. And, I ended up with a profound outcome.
I realised just this….I am the one creating my own pain!
From day one of feeling pain in my bum and hamstrings, I was consumed with these three questions 1, How could I have prevented the injury? 2, why did the injury occur in the first place? and 3, How am I going to fix the injury?
With these questions swimming around in my mind after seeing the doctor and confirming that it was a possible tear of the tendons in my hamstrings, I came up with all the answers on my own, again provided by my mind. 1, I should not have tried to push myself so hard after overcoming an illness that took a toll on my body (as my body is still “fragile”) 2, I have this injury maybe because I can’t do all the things I used to be able to do in my younger years due to being on a medication that lowers my hormones causing my bones to become more fragile day by day and 3. I concluded, I might not be able to continue on this path of becoming a Yoga instructor since I probably won’t be able to get into tough postures due to the medication that I will be on for life.
So, as I sat down to journal these thoughts to try to see where I can change my thinking or confirm my thought process, I started reflecting on, why is it, when I don’t like what is happening in my world, I always ask myself these questions and chase after the answers? I spend countless minutes and hours, even days wondering and researching about them. But as I started incorporating the teachings of “removal from mind and thought” which we have been talking about a lot these past two weeks, in the back of my mind, I found the answer. And that was…I need to start rewiring my mind to leave its shell (the body) and look at the body on the outside to see what is happening on the inside, And ultimately, what happens on the inside is determined by me through the mind. Our minds and thoughts are too attached to our body. I guess I can explain it best by quoting the manual. “Only if you move out of the body, will you understand everything of the body and only if you move out of the mind, will you understand everything outside the mind.”
When I realised what I was telling my mind about the medication being bad, the old story was, I am taking medication that is ultimately going to end up hurting me while it’s healing me (just like the chemo was doing to me) INSTEAD I need to change my story in my mind to “the medicine of life that I am eating is doing what it is intended to do, allow another day of life.” This “magic pill” is a gift. This brings me to a better understanding of what Sadhguru said in one of his lectures on Stopping the chatter in your mind, “the mind shouldn’t be telling its own stories all the time, it should tell the stories you want it to tell.”
So….keep having your mind tell the stories you want it to tell. Think positive, be kind, and love life.