We live in a touch-phobic society. When we are in the elevator, everyone squeezes their limbs tightly within their own impenetrable personal bubble. In the train, eye contact is avoided while everyone is crammed into a tiny car. Accidental grazes and bumps only lead to hostile stares and awkward adjustments. 

We weren’t always like this. If you observe young children, you’ll see that they are very touchy both with each other and their surroundings. The early stages of life are when our comfort level with physical contact and physical closeness is developing. Parents establish deeper connections with their children through affectionate touches. Children find support and comfort in the embraces of their parents. But as children grow older, societal, familial and cultural pressures discourage touch.

Human touch is necessary for mental and physical well-being. Our skin is the largest sensory receptor on our body. Human beings crave physical contact, but in the modern world and westernized society, the prevalence of physical touch has lessened. Cultural and lifestyle shifts have caused smaller family sizes, higher media consumption and non-physical activities in metropolitan areas around the world. Though mankind is more interconnected than ever, this fast-paced technologically advanced culture has made humans more physically isolated. 

The no-touch culture is ingrained in us from a young age, many schools now operate a strict ‘no touch’ policy in fear of pedophilia. As we grow up, many of us satisfy our need for touch through rough interactions with friends such as wrestling play and sports. Generally, fear of touch is greater between men. Touch is often perceived as a feminine gesture, conflicting with societal ideals of masculinity. Casual touches between men and women can sometimes be interpreted as unwarranted sexual advances.

In general, adults are less dependent on touch, but as we age we are likely to feel alone and vulnerable. Therapy animals have become common in care homes for this very reason. There is also a rising demand of massage therapists, physio therapists, and even professional cuddlers. 

It is a shame that touch is so discouraged because the benefits of physical interaction can improve both mental and physical health. Physical touch activates the brain’s orbit-frontal cortex, which is linked with feelings of reward and compassion and can trigger a release of oxytocin. Regular hugs can lower a person’s heart rate and blood pressure in the long term. Affectionate platonic touch has been shown to strengthen the immune system, decrease stress and reduce anxiety. 

How can physical touch benefit our yoga teaching? 

The most practical reason for having a hands-on approach to teaching is that for kinesthetic learners, physical adjustment can be more easily understood than any verbal cue. The most important thing to remember when incorporating more physical touch in your life is to do so naturally without making others feel unsafe or awkward. With touch, less is more. A light tap to remind a student to use that part of the body is more effective than forcibly manipulating. When adjusting use firm hand movements to adjust specific body parts. Physical contact, when held for too long or in the wrong places, can be perceived as creepy or threatening. Light stroking movements or fluttery fingers can be misinterpreted by the student or be considered too uncomfortable. Generally the upper back, shoulders and hands are the only acceptable places to touch between casual acquaintances.

Incorporating hand gestures and touch into teaching can help you establish a deeper connection with your students. Even fleeting contact with a stranger can have a measurable effect, such as a brief touch on your hand when returning a library card or receipt. Research has shown that even seemingly insignificant touches between waitresses and customers can yield bigger tips. Incorporating handshakes, high-fives or a pat on the back are good non-verbal ways to communicate support and cooperation. 

Using physical adjustments can also help your students feel more relaxed and at ease, and in turn, keep them coming back to your classes. When you stimulate the pressure receptors in the skin in a safe context, the body will lower stress hormones. All in all, incorporating more human touch into our lives can not only benefit our teaching practice but our overall quality of life as well. Try making an effort to connect with those around you not just while you are teaching!

The patient must be alone if he is to find out what it is that supports him when he can no longer support himself. Only this experience can give him an indestructible foundation. ~Carl Jung, CW 12, Para 32

Foundation

I thought I had one. I thought I could persevere through challenges. I thought I needed to keep working harder on goal setting. I thought I just needed to do something every damn day. I thought stop thinking about doing handstands and start doing them, every damn day. I thought I needed to make my intentions for real, real farmer stick-to-it-iveness. Damn it.

I thought, a lot.

And the more I thought, the more frustrating I became. To myself. I had lived through the magical life changing effects of yoga on many friends. I judged, I’ll admit it. The life change often came with a cushy ride in a luxury car and a lot of time on one’s hands to attend a high profile teacher or a class where the mythical guru of solipsism herself, Gwyneth once attended back in say, 2014. The requisite tattoo on a lithe inner wrist. We know what tattoo, because we know the narrative. And everyone seemed to be ok with this reality, non-realistic reality, whereby every single person was having the same life-altering experience. Meh, I thought, it’s a glitch in the matrix.

I had been indoctrinated at a Catholic high school on the ease with which cults could mind control young people into giving up their entire lives for a single guru who speaks as a god like figure. Cultists would have mind and body pushed to their limits so it would be easier to convince them to give up their lives and money to the cult. The irony is not lost on me that it was a Catholic priest teaching Cult 101. But I was enthralled with how easily the methodology of cult think worked. It works in corporations, countries, universities (go Badgers!), relationships, and most places people congregate.

Well I was guaranteed to not fall for these tricksters! I’m a free thinker. Sign the dotted line, my eyes are scanning for an exit sign. I felt like a short Liam Neeson, a doomsday prepper of sorts. And yoga wasn’t going to take me that easily. And certainly not modern yoga with the fancy pants with strange holes that pucker the skin into funny ellipses and all the soft voices radiating no fear that terrorism is going to spread and our polar axis will suddenly switch. So, I made a conscious decision. Confront my stereotypes. But really, confront my fear.

What am I afraid of? Who was this boogy–bhagwan shree rashneeshyogi! Well, I don’t know. I’ve never seen “IT”. I signed up for the complete mystery course of 200 hours of YTT, allowing myself full-immersion therapy. Living life dangerously! Unprepared, unknowledgeable, unskilled.

I had one goal in mind. Be open to the possibilities. That was it. I have a long and rather tedious physical history involving professional dance, triathlons, marathons, Olympic lifting, functional training. Basically, most areas of fitness with the exception of yoga. As an ex-dancer I figured I could gain back that muscle memory rather quickly. Then our YTT began, currently, we are halfway through our class journey. By day three, the air felt different. By day four, I think I felt invisible energy glowing around me. By day five, exhaustion was confused with elation.

Oh my goodness! It was happening! And I’m not talking about increased flexibility, although I did feel a bit of that too. I may just give my entire life savings to Tirisula! Ok, ok, I’m not going to drink spiked Kool-Aid, but I felt something I never felt before. Oneness. I could feel my fatigue. Something I would normally deny to myself while I forced myself into some set of actions which would domino into more actions I would not truly want to do. Synchronicity. My mind was mellow. My thoughts were now mere watercolors, stains. I found that moment of a sadhana (spiritual practice) speaking to me, moving me, nominating ME for ME.

When I was tired, I laid down. I could breathe. Finally, I could feel the effects of the pranayama breathing. My thoughts began to bend into less cluttered thinking. My mind was no longer on Fitbit mode, “better drink water, you’re only at 3 glasses”. Literally, the water within me was flowing with a current outside of me and leading me to intuitive actions that had escaped me because I had been using the FORCE of my thoughts to dominate even simple physical body functions. (Raise your hand real high if you need to earn a pee break!) This waste of energy was similar to using an entire electrical city grid just to make your morning alarm go off. My mind was no longer using constant FORCE to lug one leg in front of the other. Suddenly, I felt what power means. Power, like gravity pulls things down. Power, that water will flow down a river. Power, that mountains cast shadows which move throughout the day. Power, of an apple seed which will grow and fight through soil to rise.

I was most moved by philosophies we learned our second week. “Do things that are progressive for you”. What a novel idea. Do not express intent, express the positive thoughts without the intent. I feel strong. When I do yoga, I feel my breath and that feels good. Versus my FORCEful self-talk; I WILL feel great when I clean my office today. Every breath creates a pattern. This pattern connects to your brains thoughts. Be interested in what you can do, no need to pinpoint why.

My thoughts thought they thought of everything. Obviously not.

We know that the mask of the unconscious is not rigid—it reflects the face we turn towards it. Hostility lends it a threatening aspect, friendliness softens its features. ~Carl Jung, CW 12, Para 29

Set An Intention. Easier said than done.

This is especially true during the highly anticipated month of January. We plan, we dream, we sign up for gym memberships we know we will never use! It is kicked off with lofty and truly innocent do-gooder intentions of weight-loss, kindness, and career success. However, year after year, January dolefully ends with the shameful quixotic morning-after feeling of self-imposed amnesia to all the dreams now broken. We crawl to our cubicle hoping no one sees our Venti coffee after two weeks of braggart level confidence, “Some people do ‘Dry January’, I’m doing coffee-less January!”. Our intention seemed so simple. We speak inside our head, ‘A child could do it. But why couldn’t I?”

And thus begins our minds ability to rationalize any number of excuses and reasons as to the answer of WHY? We have been trained through media, family, socializing, nationality, race, and religion to believe that our mind is linear. That in order to have followed through on our January intention we would gain success and reach our goal by following a very circumspect ambition and taking well known routes to our finality of accomplishment. Unwittingly, our dedication will be fraught with failure after failure. How is this so?

Our clarity to answer the WHY; why the failure, why is a linear path not a path to success, why can’t I succeed in my wishful earnest goals, is answered at the beginning of our path.

Many sadhakas (spiritual practitioners) will start their sadhanas (spiritual practice) with subconscious and conscious preconceptions about what a follower on a path of sadhanas is all about. The reality, pain, and difficulty in starting this path are contradictory to our highly-held preconceived ideas about this practice. The typical struggle begins with how the sadhaka reconciles the irritable shocks and unexpected realities on this path. Most often, around mid-January, we see the neophytes backtrack to their former existence. The judgement along the path causes deep primal wounds to reappear, the sadhaka feels gullible to this pain and misery and although it slows one down, it is a necessary limp to overcome. We can find comfort in the many who have lost muster and belief in the sadhanas and the realm it opened to their hearts. The sheer power of spiritual life can make one feel ill. Only through intensely following through on the sadhanas and through this initial disappointment can one progress. Set your intention and find a practice that supports this.

The sadhanas can be any simple daily spiritual practice. Be prepared to dive into your sadhanas by letting go of your pre-conceived judgements and linear thinking. Allow it to free form into whatever it shows you. Only an openness is necessary to begin this journey of intention. You can keep your judgement but it must be carried on the shoulders of wanting to learn more and adjusting yourself to the practice and not the other way around. Soon your sadhana will enhance your everyday life to infinite possibilities.

A true tyaga (renunciation) of your former way of thinking and of the ego’s needs and desires will be necessary to stay on the path. Our mind is Maya and at every turn it will shapeshift reality into an illusion. We cannot decipher it’s intention, nor it’s abilities. But it will seek to enter your path where you once saw clearly, you will become blind.

Be aware. Sadhana for the path of self-realization is an opportunity at every moment in life and time should not be squandered by postponing this urgent duty. Start a regular and systematic sadhana in your life.

Sadhanas can be:

–a mantra

–chanting

–reading sacred scripture

–yoga asanas

–meditation

–pranayama

Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will release responsibility by naming it fate. The subconscious is where our experiences, beliefs and memories are stored. Self-knowledge, the understanding of our thoughts and behaviors and their influence on our lives, will make the unconscious conscious.