Many times, there are certain poses that we aspire to do. Sometimes the fear of falling holds us back from ever attempting them and other times, we rush into doing that certain pose without being mindful. But most of the time, we all know that that is reckless practice and if anything goes wrong, we’re committing ahimsa to ourselves. I’ve had my fair share of such experiences throughout my physical practices, such as flipping backward and falling flat on my back while attempting a headstand, or falling onto my shoulders while lifting myself into tripod. Thankfully, my body could handle the impact of these falls without any injuries. However, there were a few instances where I sustained minor injuries, such as cutting my lip as I fell onto my face while attempting one-legged crow, or knocking my head against a wall while getting up from wheel unsupported, resulting in a “baluku”. 

The bad news about falling is that it can have serious consequences. If we don’t know our bodies well enough to know if it can land a fall safely, or if there is no one to support us in challenging poses, then we are committing ahimsa to our bodies by injuring ourselves. 

However, the good news is that falling helps to overcome the fear of attempting challenging poses, and it gave me greater awareness about the limits of my body and balancing points when attempting the poses again. Falling is actually quite a liberating feeling because it’s like overcoming a mental block from “I can never do that!” to “I’ve tried that before (and survived it)!”. I think falling from a pose cannot be avoided in yoga, but falling just once is good enough to erase the fear of attempting challenging poses again and again. And you know that if you keep at it, yoga will eventually reward you. But first, fall safely!!

During the philosophy class, one notion disturbed me (and continues to do so): samsara. First, in a negative way and later, in a positive, too. Most important, it made me remember how I met yoga.

Bad first contact

First, the explanation about samsara made me think back to painful events that I experienced but with a new point of view. Which is normally positive.
But in my case, the pain reappeared. At this precise moment, I would like to scream and cry. I couldn’t breath properly. I just focused on holding back my tears until the end of the class. The pain was so strong, that it was even physical.
I understood the concept (well, I think), but by applying it to these events, I could not accept the result.

Samsara brings you to yoga

During a next philosophy class, it was said that samsara brings you to yoga. View my previous contact with this notion, I was quite skeptical. But little by little, memories came back to me. And I was surprised to see that maybe it wasn’t so far from the truth.

When yoga arrived in my life

Where I come from and when I was a child, yoga was considered as a New Age idea spread by hippies. There was only one teacher in my area. Her daughter was one of my friend. So, I heard a little about yoga. During this same period, I attend at school to a yoga discovery class with my mother’s friend. I remembered asking my parents to continue to take some lessons. For different reasons, it was not possible.

Few years later, I discovered a passion for Asia and Buddhism. At the time, I even told my parents that I was going to convert. Yes, I know what you think, but I was only 13 years old! I think it was more to show a rebel spirit. In my family, we lived a kind of war of religions. If spirituality has always interested me, my parents did not practice at all.

However, I kept my interest for Asia and its “traditions”. This passion stays until it was time to choose what I would like to study at the university. My first choice was to study Sinology. Inside sinology, you should choose 2 languages and one of my choice was sanskrit and hindi.

Finally, I could not study Sinology. The only university to give these courses was in the German-speaking part of my country and I wasn’t fluent enough.

Yoga is gone

I must say that I have never been sporty. My sport teachers at school did not like me and this feeling was fully shared.
When I arrived at the university, many activities were offered and among them, yoga. Of course, it was my first choice. But I couldn’t attend to the course because of my schedule.
After that, yoga has completely disappeared from my life. I traveled to Central America where the mood was more salsa than yoga.

Yoga reappeared

Seven years ago, yoga reappeared in my life. I remembered really well how I decided to go to my first course. At the time, I worked in a theater, which means that my schedule (again!) was completely irregular. My work days often started at 8:30 am and sometimes ended at 2 am.
It took me months to find a yoga center that gave classes that were compatible/flexible with my life and at a fair price.

I think back to my first course… I arrived completely stressed with the desire to leave because I had this horrible feeling of school and sports classes. But after, the course, I knew: Yoga has reappeared for good. An EVIDENCE.
Since that day, I practice several times a week and in recent years, almost every day. It became an automatism, a bit like washing my teeth.

What a journey! I don’t know if it’s my samsara but I cannot deny that yoga was often around me. Until following the yoga teacher training right now!

Teaching: maybe yes, maybe not

This is the current BIG question. When I think of this whole way, I imagine that maybe teaching yoga is for me. But the minute after, I think of all those bad yoga teachers. I do not want to be a bad yoga teacher. They are numerous enough. Ooops…
When I announced to some of my friends that I was going to do the YTT, most of them told me that it was so me. I was really surprised of those reactions. By the way, I’m not sure I really understand what it means “it’s so me”…

Honestly, a week away from completing the training, I don’t know.
I think I refuse to admit that I would like (I dream for a long time?) to be a yoga teacher because I do not feel up to it. Yoga is important to me and I wish I could share it in the right way. On the other hand, if I do not become a teacher, I wonder how to continue my practice after the YTT.

Anyway. We’ll see… Until then, we must study a little and still pass the exams.

Between all the types of yoga, which one is your favorite ? Have you ever wondered?

Well, I asked myself.
Hatha, the classical ? The one I practiced the most.
Restorative yoga ? Too boring for me.
Hot yoga ? Never tried before arriving in Singapore. Yes, because in Singapore, you just need to switch off the AC and you have your hot yoga, right ? Moreover, it’s better for the earth…
Naked yoga ? Well… I prefer to self-censor.
Stand Up Paddle Yoga ? Challenging and perfect for water lovers like me.
Wine/beer yoga ? I am european, I can understand. For the fun.
Pet yoga ? Personal version : What the f*** ? Official and polite version : Sorry, not interested.
Ashtanga ?

Before begining the YTT, I didn’t have the opportunity to practice Ashtanga. Mainly, I practiced Hatha yoga or hatha with an unconscious mix of Ashtanga postures or maybe some unkown yoga made in the Western world.

The only things I heard about Ashtanga scared me and made me think it wasn’t for me. Between « it’s the most difficult type of yoga » or « you need to be sporty to practice Ashtanga » and, « Ashtanga yoga is so painful. It destroyed all of the joints », I preferred to stay far away this kind of yoga. For me Ashtanga was another and mysterious world for superior people I don’t belong to.

When I registered with the YTT, I didn’t pay attention that Ashtanga was on the menu. Better. For sure, I wouldn’t signed for the training.

Now, imagine my face when I opened the book at midnight, namely few hours before arriving for my first day of training. The half of the book was about Ashtanga Yoga.
Too bad but too late to change my mind.

Week after week, I discover ashtanga yoga and I can say I like it very much. So much, I sometimes completely forget what is a sun salutation in hatha.
Why ? I give you some reasons :

• It gives me a lot of energy.
• It puts a stop to my mind when I have too much thoughts. With Ashtanga I need to be fully focused on what I am doing. I cannot think to other things.
• The repetition of the postures, always in the same order, gives a side of something ritual.
• It is precise and rigorous. I like this.
• I feel my body stronger.
• There is a kind of « surpassing oneself », I appreciate a lot.

I don’t know if all these points are correct. It’s only what I personally feel during and after the ashtanga practice. I can just tell you : make your own experience.

In the recent weeks, I have learned so much. It’s quite difficult to choose only one thing that stands out. However, for the physical practice, without a doubt, it’s Ashtanga.