Do I really have strength?

About a year and a half ago I decided I would shape my body to be exactly the way I wanted. I took the bodybuilding approach and became a little obsessed, my schedule consisted of cardio early in the morning, going to school or work and getting at least and hour of weight training in my day. I started to count and track everything I ate, I could see my body slowly changing and shaping into exactly what I wanted. I was lifting more, I felt so incredibly strong being able to deadlift twice my weight and the routine I had created made my life more disciplined. But how strong was I really?

During the first week of this course I found myself not being able to hold poses as long as those around me, I couldn’t figure out how to engage my hips or abs properly. Despite working hard to achieve the visible abs I wanted so badly, I lacked the certain type of strength required in the asana practice. I realized I had been neglecting deep muscle strength as well as flexibility, so that has become my new goal. My mindset of my body has slightly changed, I am no longer consumed by the desire to achieve a certain body type but rather have a healthy body. We have learned about the three gunas(yogic diet), and we have learned about the doshas, what one should be eating in accordance with their dosha. With still wanting to weight lift and train at the gym I have attempted to incorporate my dosha, which is vatta, into my diet and lifestyle and these were the results. I genuinely feel better, the appearance of my body isn’t fluctuating as much, I have tried to only eat sattvic and rajasic foods also with following when to eat them. With my body not fluctuating as much I have become less obsessed of every little thing I eat, and with less stress towards with what I eat, my mental state and attitude has improved. 

Davina Antillon