I would like to take this opportunity to express my deep appreciation to Master Paalu for the nadha yoga and reiki just now, it healed me on my left body energy blockage. I feel physically and mentally relief and my energy blockage get improved. And thanks for the sound healing class that held by Andrea few days ago. It helped on my energy flow also. I felt that my energy was moving along the spine, and the energy at the blockage area was trying to move during the class. After the session I felt calm and vital. The brain was functioned more clearly.
The experience of the nadha yoga session this morning was so powerful. I felt that the energy of my whole body was directed, and it was trying to flow and clear all my energy blockage. It was felt like the switch of the self-healing system of the body was pushed on, and the body was trying his best to balance its energy. During the session, there were a lot of unusual things happen, and it happen naturally. Hence, the universe is not just what we think they are. There is something vaster for us to discover.
After the session I felt tired, I think I need to have a good rest for the body to heal itself better. I wish to recommend it to my friends who have same kind of problem too. I found that what problem I faced is quite common to my friends who have learned and practiced meditation before. We really need to find a guru and learn meditation with them step by step for long term. If not, we will get stuck in somewhere and felt depress. It is because there is a door within us have been slightly opened, we need to go and get an answer. We knew that life was not just like that, but when we stuck in it without continue our practice, we will get depress.
I would like to take this opportunity to share my meditation experience here. Even though my practice is not consistent, but it still brings a lot of experience to me, and it change me a lot. 10 years ago, it was a chance for me to join a 3 days Buddhist meditation retreat. During that 3 days, I stayed in the temple and had to live with the temple discipline: sleep at nine wake up at four, chanting and meditation were what we do for that 3 days. We must keep silence all day, no entertainment, no reading, and should not contact any person. That retreat gave me a lot of precious experiences. It was the first time I found that our breathing is something it flow by itself even without our control of the lungs. The body is like a vessel full with air, its soft and it always flow with your breath. Our mind is like a flow an it always wandering somewhere, past or future and most of the time it is not focus to the present and to ourself. We do not aware of their activity. We are not sensitive to our own: our emotion, our feeling, our body sensation, our mental activity. No matter how intelligent we think we are, we always notice the incident after it happened, not before or in real time. That was why we easily get affected by the environment and our emotion swing all the time because of the external stimulus without our conscious. It was the first time I realized that my body was so tense after have been living for 23years, especially my shoulder. The feeling of the shoulder tightness was so intense, and my shoulder was alleviated and protracted all the time during the meditation session and the nun had to always come to me and remind me to relax it. My body got sick during that 3 days, severe running nose. After the retreat, when I first stepped out from the temple and went back to city, I found out there was a difference on the vibration out there. My thinking mind slowed down and I could see my mind activity and be more sensitive and alert to external stimulus. I can see them when they were happening. It healed one of my long-term problem, severe nervous, worry and afraid with nothing, and decrease them to a lower degree. After that, I went for meditation class or retreat on and off, not consistent. I found that I discover or experience something new each time I go for the practice, and it would overturn all your false perception before. It happened each time. So after long, I did not believe on my own intellect and perception anymore. Along the route of meditation practices, there are a lot of obstacles, and different stages we need to go through. Sometimes it progress fast, sometimes it progress slow and need time to settle down and understand it on life. Sometimes you will be afraid of the unusual experience you get, sometimes you will be restricted by your ego, or anything else. But if you have started your journey, you will get the answer eventually, but it takes time. I found that I had stuck on somewhere for very long. Lost and become too self-protected, not open. I did a lot of wrong thing. I need to resume the connection between myself with the surrounding.
I resigned last year June from my previous job. I found that I am quite lost, and I was unhappy with the job I did. I found that there was nothing can get my interest in life and I felt depress. I felt that there was something I need to go and get an answer. Nothing could cure me unless I found that answer. So, I decided to go for a one-month Buddhist meditation retreat. After that one month, I found that my conscious was cover with a lot of dust. It was not clear as when I was young, and I found that there was an energy imbalance in my body. I was not aware of them because I did not keep my meditation practices for so long, and I did not have a discipline life. Everynight in the temple I was unable to sleep. The energy got stuck somewhere in my body and they were trying to flow but there was a blockage. I found that I must find a solution for it. Yoga came into my mind. Before that, I used to think of become a yoga teacher and I used to join yoga class. And when I found my body condition, this thought become stronger for me. I found that a lot of people having a lot of physical and mental problem because they do not know themselves. They live in the darkness and live without a good life discipline. I found that I must find a solution for myself and cure myself first, then only I am able to share this knowledge to others and inspire them. After the one-month meditation, I kept on lost in my life. I stayed in the room alone for a few months. Everyday I lived for nothing, I was sitting there watching the time past by and thinking of what life is. I was sick and depressed and did not want to interact with anyone. Eventhough it seemed quite insane, but I thought a lot and made my mind to a lot of doubt of my past. On the same time, I started looking for YTT class and eventually found here. When my first time stepped in the studio I found that the energy here was good and strong. It made me feel good. Leah spirit was very pure and kind, Sree was very spiritual. Everytime I meditate there I felt calm and secure. Hence I decided to join the course here. And this is the first time for my 33 years joining a school that encourage you to do self-study. Before this the education system I joined was all spoon feed system. Since my English is not good, sometimes I can not get what Master Paalu said. Hence, when I went back home I do a lot of self-study, and I felt that one month is not enough to study everything. To become a competent yoga teacher, it is a long-life study. Now it is just a beginning. After the course next week, I do not know whether I will still be discipline enough to keep on study and practice yoga? But I think I will and I hope that I will.
Thanks for everyone I met in my life. No matter good or bad experience I have with them, they bring me to understand myself better.
Thinking mind is a creative artist. It creates a lot of thing that get your attention and influence you. Be sensitive and mindful. Be aware of them. Do not let them control you and direct you to a wrong way.
I am stuck on somewhere in my meditation practices. I wish that I can overcome them.
Keep on study. Be discipline.