Three weeks finished and still standing tall.
I did not think I would see this day when I came to Tirisula on the first day of my 200hrs teacher training.
The first day was hell, and so was the second. This was not the yoga I knew…sit-ups, crunches, push-ups…. It felt like punishment, not enlightenment!
What was I thinking? Who was I kidding? What crazy idea did I have here? What made me do this? This was not for me, there are girls half my age, how would I compare and compete?
It was a crazy decision that was taken on the spur of the moment. Had I thought about it too much, I would not have done it.
I believe I was ready for a new challenge in my life after having concentrated mainly on my almost six year old son and after having arrived in Singapore, a place where idle existence is a daily occurrence as an expat spouse, it was time to think about myself. What do I want to do with myself and this precious time?
Three years ago while still living in China, I started Yoga. At that time all I knew was that it is a means of relaxation, physical challenge and mental stabiliser.
I had an amazing experience where I really felt that Yoga was a “union of the body and the mind and soul”. I remember one specific session which made my tears flow during savasana at the end of class feeling overwhelmed with the beauty of the experience. I felt completely fulfilled and content at that moment.
It was the first time I experienced how Yoga can achieve total wellbeing of body and mind. I was intrigued, however, I was still very much a novice to the philosophy and lifestyle of Yoga and my practise became irregular and ceased altogether with the move to Singapore.
As life’s challenges came and went, I lost touch with Yoga, but after finally having settled here and after having had to stop fitness training due to some slipped discs in my neck and a break of six months from any sport, I knew it was time to go back and carry on with my Yoga journey.
I wanted a more gentle and holistic approach to exercise and well being as well as looking for a lifestyle that could be carried through to older age. I want to stay happy and healthy for my family and for myself of course, in body as well as in mind. This to me is key of enjoying life.
Arriving on that first day at Tirisula, I was all of a sudden acutely aware of my shortcomings, and the reasons why I could not possibly go through with this. Too little practise, my injuries, my age, etc…
But surprisingly, here I am, end of the third week, feeling stronger, more curious and highly motivated. And no, I do not need to compare or compete with anyone, this is me and I am working towards a better version of myself, a more balanced one if possible!
That little troll who was sitting on my shoulder giving me all the reasons why I could not do this, he seems to have given up and I feel great about my achievements so far. I would not have thought it possible to be able to absorb so much new knowledge with such enthusiasm in such a short time.
Will I ever teach Yoga? Who knows. According to karma Yoga, I acted on an intention by joining the teacher training. Who knows what the outcome will be? In any case, I feel happy to have taken this step and to have started something outside of my usual comfort zone.
I feel richer and more satisfied for it.
I can’t wait to see where else this journey is going to take me.