I used to run during my university days and to push myself further, I continued pushing myself to run longer, faster. After some time, I realize that I am not improving and that my training is stagnant. Thus, I decide to change direction and look for something less cardio intensive that targets different muscle groups. I chanced upon a really good trial offer for one month of unlimited practice at a Bikram Yoga studio. Maybe it also helped that I started my practice in winter. I looked forward to rushing to a heated room and sweating it out. Half way between the standing and seated practice, there is one Savasana (corpse pose) where we are instructed to empty our mind and just focus on our breathing. I remember the teacher saying that ironically, this is the hardest pose because often time, during this pose, most people will either be thinking about their checklists or doze off. We struggle with letting go, our thoughts, our ego and our body. Something clicked inside me.
Day in, day out. That was how I started having a consistent yoga practice until I came back to Singapore and got caught up with everything else. Still, my mind constantly returned back to the time I was practicing consistently. I remember feeling different and more grounded. I remember telling myself, I need to find that feeling back and I want to share the positive energy that it has given me.
Fast forward to now, as what the teacher mentioned, “Yoga finds you. Even if you are not looking for it.” I am nearing the end of YTT, a course which I did not know what to expect and also a course, which I told myself, I will only enrol in after 5 years of consistent practice – when I have mastered my fundamental poses and when I have found stability in my work.
I am no where near 5 years of consistent practice nor can I do a proper chaturanga, crow pose, headstand. Are these the pre-requisites for this course? No.
Instead of focusing so much on the outcomes (e.g. ability to do fancy poses, to teach yoga), all that is needed is just taking the first step out. Breathe into the spaces that are tensed. Be ready to explore and understand your body, mind and soul. When your body is ready for more, it will be yours. Our practice is always with us, wherever we go.
For now, find joy in the learnings and teachings.