How surrendering to a higher self, made me move closer to Freedom

Niyama Ishwara-pranidha
“How surrendering to a higher self, made me move closer to Freedom”
I used to be a control freak! A real one! Ask my husband, my previous boss, everyone…
I expected perfection in all aspects of my life: at home and in the workplace. I was so much in control, that it made me sick… really sick to the point of having a heart failure that took me to the ER 3 times in 6 months. Just to let you know, I am only 34 years old.
I had supra ventricular tachycardia crisis (SVT). This manifests by my heart starting to beat at 180 beats per minutes and the only way to stop it is to get an IV injection to revert it. This was a Blessing!!! And I mean it! Because this is when I realized that I could not do it all and I quit my very demanding and stressful job of 9 years.
On that day, I decided to turn my life around and surrender.
I am not less ambitious, not at all. I am just chasing more simple and meaningful goals like spending more time to raise my daughter, contribute to society, help others and be more fulfilled. I believe that letting things go is an act of real power.
On that day, I decided that Perfection is an illusion that I will not chase. I decided to chose optimism and make the most of my life. I decided to live healthy, happy and FREE.
Freedom is hard to get in the society we are living in. I used to be obsessed by the money I would make, always wanting more, the amount of money we could save to buy a house, the bills I had to pay, the job I had, the social status I was holding etc…
Sometimes, you just have to stop thinking so much about what people think of you and just go where your heart takes you. That also means becoming comfortable with not knowing what the future has for you, but that’s OK now that I stopped trying to understand. I now surrendered to a higher self and I feel totally FREE!
“Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be” (Sonia Ricotti)
Elodie Warner 20/03/2016

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