The thing that is really standing in your way, are your subconscious fears that life is far too dangerous to make changes, and what-if-I-make-mistakes kind of thoughts. Thoughts of fears, future-tripping and self-sabotage that stop you in your tracks. But the truth is, that you can’t really get it wrong. Even if you mess up big, the worst thing that’ll happen is that you’ll learn something. Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.
Case in point?
December 2015 was when all resolutions stirred my mind.
Fast forward to this time, I had the best month ever.
But it was the best, because it was so imperfect.
Each day I awake, heart and mind full, with a drive to GO.
I have made a promise to myself that this year would be a year of attaining goals and ticking more things from that invisible bucket list. Diving, take violin classes, start on my bodybuilding fitness, fall in love (hopefully), and yes, to take that elusive 200 hours of yoga teacher training. It all sounds too daunting for me.
So I listened to that drive. After a decent month of hard work and practise of Yoga with such respectable masters and hardworking yogis in class, I would attest to my experience the growth and strength I have gained in such a short amount of time. It is like each day there is something to learn and apply in my daily life. In the asanas that we do with so much sweat and drive, I have pushed past the frustrations and fears that engulfed me. I am not perfect in every way, nor I force myself to be, but I try and give the best that I can. Because there’s no other way, but up.
On some odd days, nagging, deep, sad, negative thoughts would fiercely crawl their way in – sometimes doubting my capabilities, my inner-resolve, shaking things up to make my sunny day turn gloomy and giving my power away. One thing that helped me calm is to sit, close my eyes and take awareness of my breath. Those numerous pranayama’s have purpose, and I used one to let me go of those thoughts. Life is messy. It’s filled to the brim with uncertainty. But I also believe that a man has the capability (of imagination as compared to animals) to be happier and healthier if he choose to be grounded and flexible. And that is exactly what makes it so incredibly beautiful, exciting and worth waking up for every single day. Our job is not to know exactly how everything is supposed to be. Our job is to take what we have in this moment, as chaotic and messy as it is, and make it into a vision of our own. As I move forward, I take these words and hold close : courage, change, taking action and balance to guide me, as I move through these challenging times.
By : Erica