I spent the better part of my education studying postmodernism and performance, and naturally, Judith Butler came up quite often.
Satya, on the other hand, is a refreshing concept.
Living the truth so much that eventually nothing can affect your truth, is a very strong concept. To me, it encompasses not confidence but humility. The humility to accept imperfection as it is, and to embrace it wholly.
Growing up with my elder brother was not easy on my self-esteem. Eventually I came to realise that the problem lay perhaps not with me — especially not the times I was minding my own business when a blow landed on me. The moment I realised that I was not the worst of all mankind was the moment I regained my freedom from self-doubt. It was also the moment I realised that I wasn’t angry at my brother. I merely hoped that he can love me too.
Several times over the course of this training, I gained insight into this issue. I realised that as long as I do my duty as a sister, there is no need to feel responsible for how he thinks of me; and as long as I live the way I believe to be good, I don’t have to be affected by things that are not within my control.
This epiphany came on Friday, when Master Paalu shared that perhaps when we try hard at something for a long time and still not succeed, it is not meant to be. The thought that perhaps he meant Yoga was not for me flashed into my mind, but just as quickly exited, because it doesn’t matter what others think. As long as I enjoy the learning process and want to persevere, then no one else’s opinion should matter. Just as it is with my brother — as long as I do what I think I should as a sister, then whether he takes kindly to me shouldn’t matter.
Jo 200h TTC

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