my training experience

As of today, I have completed 3 weeks of yoga teacher training (halfway into the course!). I wanted to start penning down my thoughts while it was still fresh in my mind but I could not. I was physically, mentally and emotionally drained. All I could remember from the first week was my poor body was all aching and sore. It was like I never knew those muscles existed, or maybe they have always been sleeping.
So here I am, with a clear mind, moving into the 4th week of training and ready to write and reflect on this wonderful journey. The past few weeks have been physically, mentally and emotionally challenging. I remember having a drug allergy by the end of the first week; I developed rashes all over my neck and body, it did not help that I was perspiring like mad every morning and could not resist the urge to scratch. Thankfully it was cleared in about 5 days but as soon as I thought things were getting better, I twisted my left foot while attempting the jump-through… ….
Oh well everything aside, those incredible weeks were one of the best days I ever experienced in my life. On some days I was on a high from training. I could not get enough of how much I have learned and would go home and talk for hours to my partner about everything I was doing and learning at the course. Of course on some days I was totally exhausted to a point where I just did not want to speak to anyone. (Master Paalu was right, it really happened!)
There were also instances where, I secretly tear on the mat when training got a little tough. Honestly, I always thought I was a tough cookie. Seemed like I have over-estimated my strengths. But I was very determined to maintain my composure and not let it affect me. I have learned to take things in stride, and not let my emotions get the better of me. So far, my trusty mat has collected a fair amount of sweat and tears over the past weeks. It was very interesting to monitor my attitude and emotions and observe how it would shift from day to day. As I move deeper and deeper into practice, I also move deeper and deeper into self-love. For me, going through this training was also a transformational experience. I was on the road to self-discovery.
Most importantly, I have NEVER done a single head stand in my entire life and at week 3 I finally conquered the fear of being upside down. This is my biggest achievement in practice so far. It is really quite incredible that I am able to let go of that fear and I am really working hard to achieve more boundaries.
Physically, I have to be prepared to train every morning, whether my body was ready or not. I also often asked myself if my practice was adequate or strong enough for teacher training.  Everyone was at a different level; some of us could do certain asanas while a few of us struggle with them. But today, I realized that on top of being good with your asanas, there is another aspect that is just as important. It is to be able to teach and lead a class. We need to discover and develop our own unique style, through the way we give instructions and how we project ourselves. I am so looking forward to explore which style suits me and I shall discover this in the next few days.
Although my practice has deepened and improved since day 1, there is still more room for improvement. And as I build strength to balance steadily my asanas, I also build strength to face whatever the world throws at me. For now, I am truly loving this awesome training experience and being in the ‘present’. Practice, practice, and more practice.

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