I.4 “at other times, the seer identifies with the fluctuating consciousness”
This sutra identifies itself with my daily efforts to move away from the consciousness. Amidst the everyday hours to settle “bread and butter” for myself and my daughter, I constantly notice the surfacing of ego, intelligence and analysis. When I find the time to sit quietly and observed how I have gone through the day, I notice the pattern of the rising of these obscurities.
This is what it looks like..
Start of the day – Asana Practice. Frustration arisen when I couldn’t perform some of the asanas I have been practicing for a while. Jealousy seeks in when the mind replays the scene of my other yoga mates who have done it before.
By acknowledging these Egoistic senses and release them, I am then able to continue my practice.
Sending my daughter to school and then home to start my work – Traffic in the morning along Thomson Road is very heavy. With Rachelle in the car asking me questions non stop and navigating through the traffic, frustration arisen.
When I start work, chasing for quotations and following up with seeing clients causes stress and impatience and Ego came in when i closed deals. Pride entered after I closed deals against competitors.
Ending the day – my body and mind got unusually tired and I felt like a thousand ton of weight is on me. Again, my sense of laziness prevents me from doing things I would have felt like doing. I felt very ‘ungrounded’ and of course I have dreams every night.
On a day where I took myself away from these daily events, I realize I could identify with my inner self more. As described in this verse, I could see myself from the internal facet of the optical lens (citta). I could grasp the surroundings as it is , with no analysis and no feelings of any. My body and mind is light.
Perhaps it is because my seer does not associate much with consciousness and ego which is ever changing and obstructing, that I am able to release myself for this day. I could feel my inner self radiated and contented.
Not now, but I know, with practice and meditation, I will be able to do it even through my daily fire fighting life.
