As a training-to-be Yoga teacher, I’m very eager to wanna master all the difficult Asanas and be a role model for my future students. Very often, I was pushing myself too hard in class only to be pushed into injuries and feeling worse than when I first walked in to the class. Frustration sets in when there is little change/ improvement although i show up on my mat every single day.
As i practice on, I begin to be able to power through some of the harder Asanas but I noticed that it somehow pushes my anxiety and stress level to the peak.
When I chance upon this quote “Letting go is the hardest Asana”, it kinda hits me hard. Yoga is supposed to be relaxing and enjoyable and a space for yourself to be present. But the whole time while I was practicing Yoga, my mind was racing in a break neck speed. Thinking about whether I can achieve the Asana, how would others think of me if I can’t perform and generating negative thoughts like how weak I am to be struggling in supposingly simpler Asana, etc. I got frustrated and demoralized majority of the time while going through classes that is supposed to be enjoyable.
I discovered that the Asanas are not the one I need to master, but the act of listening to your body and letting go. What my body and mind need is space. Now I start to be conscious with my thoughts when I am practicing yoga, learning to let go of my ego, fear and negative thoughts. Now, I find myself enjoying the different poses in yoga. Child’s Pose is no longer a transition pose to me , its a pose I can truly allow my muscle to soften and my mind to enjoy the peaceful space and my Savasana is getting less fidgety.
I hope everyone can find peace in their yoga practices.
“The strongest Yogi in the room is the one that takes child’s pose when they need it” – by anonymous
Jeslin (March 2018 Weekend YTT)