“Self-criticism doesn’t just make you feel like garbage, it also gets in the way of your success” — Women’s health
At this point, we can probably recognize the sound of our harsh inner critic—that awful voice that tells you that you’re too lazy, fat, undisciplined, etc. As we thought that this voice is driving us to do better it actually make us harder to succeed. According to Kristin Neff, Ph.D., a leading researcher; self-criticism releases the stress hormone, sending you into a state of stress that’s similar to feeling physically threatened. A common reaction to constant self-imposed stress is depression, which kills your motivation.
That’s where self-compassion comes in. When you feel reassured that failure isn’t the end of the world and that you’re not alone in failing, you’re actually in a position to try harder. There are a few ways in doing so.
Let yourself feel bad
Self-compassion means recognizing that negative emotions, letting yourself feel them and letting it all out even if it means crying to a pillow for hours. This allows yourself to accept your natural reaction and always keeping your best interest at heart.
Instead punishing yourself for failing, try the opposite approach and give yourself a small treat. By giving yourself a boost can actually make failure less frightening, which means you’ll be more likely to take risks in the future.
Be your own cheerleader
Try speaking to yourself out loud the way you would to a close friend. Instead of scolding or criticizing yourself, verbally comfort and encourage yourself in the midst of a painful feeling. Recognizing your feelings keeps you safe from rejection, and validating it reminds you that it’s totally normal to feel this way. If mumbling to yourself out loud seems weird, try saying comforting words in your head instead.