How Did I Get Here?

I had never expected that this year I’ll be going teacher’s training, and all the more do headstand and all these crazy asanas.
You would not have known that as a kid, I suffered anemia for 6 years; and never played sports in school because I didn’t have the stamina. My family calls me “Ching” an endearment term which means tiny, frail. I was physically challenged back then.
My first yoga experience was almost 10 years ago in Manila, my best friend said it’s a good way to de-stress from the corporate life. I didn’t like it, apart from being slow, the teacher informed us to do headstand right there and then (Would you believe that?) and we are not leaving the room unless we do it. What the efff!!! From then on I swear never to try yoga.
Fast forward in Singapore, I was eating unhealthy, a smoker for 12 years, less sleep, over thinking; I was suffering even though I was running and going to the gym. I was still gaining weight and was getting sick easily. My friend said that she heard about this Bikram yoga which is done in a hot room and it’s a way to lose weight and detoxify the body.
I was apprehensive because of my previous experience, but I felt guilty because my friend would all the time accompany and try things that I want. So I agreed and off we went; it was a bit tough- hot room, I was struggling with all the poses and the teacher was strict but till this day she is one of the reasons why I stick and signed-up to that studio yoga.  I admire the wisdom she had imparted every class, she would read notes and say things to reflect on. It was amazing how calm and enlighten she looks like. I wanted that I said!
It wasn’t until almost 18 months ago that I started getting serious with my practice; it was beyond health reason by then. I wanted to become a teacher; I wanted to teach and inform people the benefits of doing yoga properly and learn not only the asana but its principles. So I started going 5 times a week to the class to improve myself. I had it all planned; I told myself that by by 2014my flexibililty would have improved and I would take one month sabbatical leave from work to go for teacher’s training. Yes, you read it right 2014 and not this year.
How did I end up here then? Around April this year, I was looking online on my travel plans for July as an annual birthday gift to myself .  I said any place outside Singapore that can offer yoga retreat should be all right. I couldn’t find anything to my liking. Then I started browsing anything in Singapore and chance upon Tirisula yoga website. Upon browsing,  saw for July it was offering 200 teachers’s training weekends; for weeks I was pondering and never even told a soul; I even come up with pros and cons list. The cons list include- what if I couldn’t do the asana especially headstand since I’d never done it, will I have time to study and remember all the Sanskirt and these scientific terms (Science was my least favorite subject). Can I juggle this between my job? So much excuses so much fear, told myself that there is a reason why I chance upon this website and to stop making an excuse and just go for it.
Krezel  200hr weekend ttc July to Oct 2013

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