My head and my headstand

On the very first day of the 200 hours teacher-training program, Master Paalu told us that by the first Friday, most of us would be able to do the headstand pose. I had never really tried it, so I was positively surprised to know that within 5 days I would perform such an impressive and fancy yoga pose. I even told my friends, and my family.
Steps seem “easy”:
-Come to a table top position
– Interlace your fingers, place forearms in a narrow triangular shape on the floor, below your shoulders, place the flat part of your crawn on the floor, in between your hands
– Come into a downdog, then walk your legs straight towards your face, until the toes hardly touch the floor
– Then raise legs up from the floor, with bent knees
– No pression on the neck, press firmly on your forearms, shoulders engaged and away from the ears
– Elongate the spine and pull legs up. Press into your inner thighs, push heels up to the ceiling
3 weeks later, I had to admit that I can instruct the pose, but I still couldn’t do it without a wall. Not even the simplest form of headstands. So far, despite tips and help from the teachers, the other students, I still couldn’t stand. The last two days of the third week have been quite tough for me. I realised I was almost one of the only students not able to do it. What was wrong with me? Something in my head prevents me from doing headstand?
As I was told I – we  – would be able to do it, I assumed it would come automatically, magically… Well, it doesn’t – for me at least. It still has to come from me. Even when practicing outside under the sun, I was quite passively waiting for the “click”.
Last Friday, I caught one thing from Master Paalu: we shouldn’t be afraid of falling down, when doing headstand. We should just learn how to fall – then the fear would disappear. Because, he said, he saw students practicing over the wall for years, without success.
Separately, I also realized that as I am trying to do this pose,  it should be without stress. I actually felt so more pressure, because everyone else can do it, because I told my friends… Well, let’s release this pressure; and try my best – really my best.
I went to the beach this weekend, where my kids can play around and where I can safely fall down. 10%  improvement. A baby step, but still.
I went again on Monday.  Another student patiently helped me, shared her technique. 30 % improvement. Wow!
I went back to the beach yesterday, alone. And … I did it!! With no external pressure, trying to memorize all the tips mentally and physically, I did the headstand a few times.  It is such a nice personal accomplishment feeling!
During the class today I couldn’t really do it… So I am going back to the beach tomorrow. I might camp there over the next weekend 🙂
200 hours, weekday

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