Give sincere time to your mind and your body

My son was 2 years of age when my late fiance passed away, and I was 22. From that day forward I was faced with great responsibilities. I had to be everything I wasn’t and I had to be wise especially. Mentally and emotionally I was heavily fatigue juggling everything that I needed to be for myself and my son especially. I was easily angry and sad. I diverted my ‘fit’ and melancholic emotions to active sports and that gave me temporary calmness. Still, I knew something was missing and my inner peace doesn’t have a sense of security. I began searching ‘meditation’ online and started trying it out on my own. For some reason I knew immediately silence in my mind was what I wanted. I was craving that quietness and not having to utilize my energy to think. But I wanted more and I didn’t know what it was.
Along these years, my knee then began to give me multiple pains and I had to stop both running and cycling altogether. I was directed to try yoga and upon the first time trying it, I connected and I instantly loved it. Somehow I felt it was meant to be. I love how my mind feels after each class. I love how my body responds during each asanas. I was focusing too much on doing the right things for my son whilst neglecting the most important thing too – my wellness. I figured being the best mother was all I needed and had to be. There will be occasions where my mind would weaken and I would ignore them thinking my well being was completely irrelevant.
Yoga changed everything that I am. The pranayamas especially was the key to my mind. I realised I was all along filling the empty void wrongly. The things that I was doing or the person I was trying to be wasn’t me. The stillness, calmness, purity and joy I get from yoga made me respect my soul and body more than I ever had – that, is me. I was just lost but yoga was able to give my mind time to stillness and reflect and it did so beautifully.
Thank you universe for I am given this opportunity to stumble upon something so magical in this present life. It is never too late to start. What is late is not doing anything about it.
Farah.D Kusairi

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