“We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort”- Jesse Owens
I have been mulling over the same old question on dharma ever since I graduated. i.e, under the following 3 conditions (in no particular order of importance):
1. If you were guaranteed success,
2. if money isn’t an issue, and
3. if time isn’t a constraint,
what would you pursue?
While having the right questions is key, answers too can often mislead or left us nowhere but back to origin.
This left me with a bad news, for my answer changes significantly from becoming a scientist, yoga teacher to being a makeup artist. All three jobs are splattered across different scope of interest and an overlap in knowledge and skills requirements would be close to none. Hence, I am still left clueless to say the least.
The good news is, I have this hunch that maybe, I might be closer to ‘home’ after all these years of trial and error; lapsing and hovering from finance, liberal arts, economics, and other nuances of business; unwillingly and resisting a full plunge into the subject matter at hand.
During my stay in Singapore this far, I had chosen to lead a double life, so to speak. A makeup/hairdresser student by weekdays and a yoga teacher in training by weekends. It was not until a recent wake-up call that made me realize I had to pursue either one because I am a slow learner in both areas. I asked my elder sister who undoubtedly my closest kin and a dearest friend whom I look up to. She answered that I should ask for a special consideration to put the yoga teacher’s training on momentary hold. It was not only when I gave my sister’s answer an afterthought that the answer I had intuitively known all along resurface. I chose to defer my diploma and continued my yoga teacher’s training course.
What is your dharma? Find it by asking, what is it that you love so much that you’d pay for it?
For now and the next couple of weeks, I will be relentlessly showing up and practicing yoga, be it in asanas, doing assignments, reading the lessons that have been taught so far. While I might not be suited to be a yoga teacher yet, and might be hovering close to failing the course, I will continuously and adamantly be striving for progress and hopefully, regret for not plunging in, giving my all, would be a thing in the past.
As an end note to this short snippet of my life, according to many influential public figures such as Deepak Copra, someone who practices yoga (yogi) way of life is free from what was termed as ‘habitual patterns of past’ or simply put, conditionings. As a yogi, there has to be a self-check mechanism in place, through the passive observance of our consciousness (scanning for any any self-doubt, fear or anxiety, and any self-destructing thought and behavioral patterns). Observe, understand where they are coming from, and then letting go of feelings, thoughts, and behaviors that do not serve any purpose,to re-commit in choosing the most effective, appropriate and kind response in overcoming daily challenges.
I hope this yoga teaching course will leave me a better individual who transcends conditionings and be able to live up to my highest capabilities.
Editha Halim-(200Hr) Yoga TTC, 07/14 intake