She believed she could, so she did

To be honest, I think my transformation began the moment I registered for YTT. First of all, attending such a course seemed nothing but far fetched & I kept telling myself to sign up only when I’m fully confident & have more time for practice. But then again, deep down I knew that reaching that level of confidence would probably take forever & I kept using the fact that I have to work overtime as an excuse for not going for yoga classes often enough.
I must say that I suddenly felt compelled to attend YTT because a) If not now, then when? 2) Becoming a yoga teacher is something I really aspire to do and 3) I really felt the need to make a difference in this world & do something meaningful. So the minute I signed up for the course, I felt like I was being brave for once in my life & was proud of myself for taking the first step.
Then of course, YTT happened & it was a whole new ball game. Every week I found myself facing new challenges & fears. For one, I had to really overcome my fear of doing a headstand & had to tell myself how irrational my fear was. It took me quite a while to have faith & to believe in myself. And now, I enjoy getting into Sirsasana and I actually feel rather peaceful once I’m vertically up.  In fact, I enjoy getting into Sirsasana everyday because the after effect feels amazing!  Of course I still have bad days where I can’t hold for long or suddenly I’d feel a little scared to do it on the spot (sometimes my irrational fear likes to play hide & seek), but I’m working on it. In addition, I’m having fun trying other headstands such as tripod headstand & I think I might be slowly falling in love with inversions & arm balances.
Another difference I’ve noticed is how much more disciplined I’ve become. Waking up at 6 am to practice yoga before work is now the norm for me & it’s something I never thought I’d ever do because anyone who knew me well before I started attending YTT would never label me as a morning person. My morning practices have also contributed to me wanting to be more of a perfectionist at work, even if I happen to be performing the most mundane task.  After work if I’m home as late as 9pm, I’d still whip out the mat & practice for at least an hour. I’ve begun to make as much time as possible for yoga because I really want to improve and be the best that I can be.
Sticking to this whole routine makes me feel more alert, calmer and happier in general.  Maybe because I’ve also started incorporating teachings from the 8 limbs of yoga into the way I live life as well. For example, I firmly believe in practicing Ahimsa because violence will not get you anywhere. Even if someone is rude to me now, I’d take a deep breath instead of getting angry, send the person loving-kindness & move on. I’m also an animal lover, so the more I think about Ahimsa, the more I want to lay off meat. I definitely eat less of it now, but I know there will come a day where I will not touch meat at all because I cannot bear the thought of animals being slaughtered to feed me when I can easily turn to vegetables and fruits as my staple.
I still have a long way to go but from witnessing the positive changes in me, I know I made the right choice by enrolling in YTT. And I’m definitely looking forward to the self exploration & amazing journey which yoga will bring.
Zen Law

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