Self-reflection exercises started when I decided to take a break from the life I used to live in. I stood at that high corner of my room, where the window sill, wall and ceiling met (imaginatively) and look at myself working around the room in a day. Do I feel grateful to what I have right now? Do I want more? If it is, what is it?

I could be the biggest book worm anyone would ever met, and I slept on self-help books on the 3rd page. And today, I would like to admit that, it wasn’t because I was too stubborn to absorb something new, I was too afraid to admit that I need guidance to improve on how to be able to live in this world. Who am I? And what’s my role here?

Understanding the spiritual part of yoga for a month now, might not be able to answer to those questions of mine yet, but I’m glad that I gained a proper guide and exercise on how to answer myself, truthfully. And I’ve prepared a lot more exercises, to be more grounded, to be closer and listen more to myself.

I suppose this break isn’t just about being fair to myself, it is more to those who love and care about me.

And I have to admit, this is the best decision I have ever taken in my whole life. Although there are things to be compromised, but I always believe that there’s a will, there’s always a way. But look here *imitating Master Sree*, just make sure the will doesn’t cause harm to anybody. 🙂

You only live once. Leave this world proud with no regrets.

Just stop and listen

Self-center happened when one lives too much by ‘because of’.

‘How could I ever finish my work? That senior asked me to help him to do some work, and you know he doesn’t take no.’

‘I can’t even have a proper 8 hours of sleep everyday, how would I ever go for a squash game? By the time I reach home from work, it’s already 11pm!’

Due to courtesy or being nice to people, when one finds it difficult to say no, it will become a habit, then things will turn downhill because this person will be having less and less time / space for himself.

I was like that. Until more and more incidents of not being appreciated came, I started to say no nearly to everything and selfishness kicked in. In my mind, ‘I came to this world alone, and I’m gonna leave alone too, why would I live for them? I should be the one to drive this life and I am the one and only who can love no one but myself.’ Then I don’t listen and pay attention to my surrounding anymore, just myself.

There I felt unhappy with my work and life and distance myself away. ‘Why would I care?’ I thought. Still, instead of getting the peace I thought I could get, I got more and more negative. I complained and got frustrated easily, and can feel that this started to affect my surrounding. That was when I decided to take a break from the normal life, to think everything through, to do self-reflection and understand about my true self.

Then I questioned, ‘What role would I like to play on this surface of the earth?’.

Few times my answer came in as, ‘I want to help, but not sure whom and where to start.’ Then last week session with Master Sree woke me up when I mentioned about the Australian Wild Fire, ‘There’s only so much we can do. We are not Superman,’ he said. He also mentioned about Cave Yogis who begged food from people, not to ease their own hunger and survival to live, but to take the sin and disease from people by receiving food from them, then bless them for good life. Then I started to look around, everyone needs an ear to listen to them, just like I do. My uncle told me that I’m someone who fights til death for things I stand for. All because I needed someone to listen to me, to recognize me, to feel being accepted. And when I had a conversation with him few days later, I started to listen to him when he vented about my cousin. I started to understand his point of view, I felt him. I didn’t argue like I used to do to prove that what I know is correct. And am glad that I offered my ear to listen. I hope this is a good start, to discover more about myself, and answer that question with firmer statement.

Everyone has their stories and reasons for actions taken, and there shouldn’t be anybody to judge. We just have to stop and listen, then we will realize why we shouldn’t judge at the first place.

Note to self: I shall start to listen to myself carefully. And don’t judge.


Detachment in self-studies helps me a lot in self-upgrading via doing spring cleaning for my life. Not just only for the house cleaning, but also for the hobbies, thoughts, planning and etc. Subconsciously, we tend to feel ‘rich’ when we have abundance of things in life, but in real life, out of those 20 pieces of tops that one has, there will be always that 5 pieces frequently worn.

Just like before throwing anything out of the house, items will be laid on the floor and to be selected which will not be used anymore, too old and torn to be used anymore, brings bad or traumatic memories, these are all ready to be packed and thrown. Whatever left to be kept do not only makes the closet less packed, this makes us clearly see what we actually lack off and needing, and also allows more new items to be fit in to make our lives better.

As for the hobbies or thoughts or planning, these can also be listed down and filtered through, whichever not beneficial to the current and near future life, outdated and traumatic ones, all can be discarded out. Whatever passed are all history and to be archived as memories. One important note to self while doing the filtering work: Whatever not useful for current life, don’t keep and stop thinking I still can keep it for future use, because this will never come.  From here we can see that whatever left are what currently defines us, and also allow more space to learn and absorb more things. Through this, negative energies can be lessen internally to allow positive ones in.

Learn to let go, there only the new beautiful things will come. Now it’s time to do some listing and filtering work.

Note to self: Collection and keeping in abundance are 2 different thing.





Thoughts on Energy in Yoga

There’s always a balance in everything in this world: strong & weak, pretty & ugly, positive & negative, poor & rich, & etc. Lessons in YTT opens up my mind to another point of view which has never came across my head regarding spirits and paranormal activities.

Science told us that energy cannot be destroyed but has always been recycled into different forms and stronger energy will overcome the weaker energy, however, the positivity or negativity of the energy can only be explained via Yoga, that is: comes with the intention behind the used of energy: Positive ones makes the surrounding comfortable and people happy; negative is harmful and dark.

Below are some examples of scenarios regarding knowledge of energy which I find interesting and make sense (do correct me if I’m wrong):

Have you every wonder where does the energy in our body goes to after we die? Like I mentioned before, energy cannot be destroyed. Scientifically, every action will produce reaction and release of energy. Every food we eat will produce energy to our body to work. So when the body decomposes, actions happen, hence there will be released of energy into different forms into the earth. But I do believe certain percentage of the energy will turn into aura form, and that’s how human might feel or see the passing people.

Do you believe there’s another ‘dimension’ our eyes cannot see? I do believe there’s one which sometimes crisscross in our daily lives, and I respect that as it is a place we are not supposed to cross to, and we have no business to do that. Like my father always told me whenever I go to any foreign place and I don’t ‘feel’ right, just whisper, ‘I’m not here to do harm, but if I cause any uncomfortness, I apologize.’ I mean, c’mon, those who live in the other dimension are ‘people’ too, right? Courtesy is never wrong. Just remember, words are powerful, if, you mean every word that comes out of your mouth.

Every one of us do have positive and negative energy inside us, we just have to balance it well. Good people have more positive ones and hide of the bad ones, and vice versa. The current world is cruel and unhappy, isn’t it better to spread more positive ones by providing more good doings to yourself and the surrounding to balance the negativity off?

Exhale out the negative energy and see the world with a beautiful smile. 🙂