When I started my YTTC, I think I will learn mostly on yoga asana, how I can do advance poses and become a yoga teacher one of these day. But it was wrong, because the most lesson I learned in this teacher training is the sense of detachment especially with my other half. As a married couple with no children we so used to be together and whatever he does or what I do we will tell every single details. There is a sense of missing if I not asked him where he was or what he was doing even though I knew he is at work and if he late few minutes I feel nauseous and started to thing funny negative thoughts.
Yes our mind can be corrupted by negativity cultivated by one small simple what if thinking, which is might be happened or most of it never happened. Yes we need a little bit negative thoughts but it can not overpowering our positive thoughts. Negative thinking needed to prepare ourselves if something that we don’t want happen really happened in our lives, that’s all. Just to be ready and leave it there, don’t touch it or invite it to our mind. Remind ourselves that our thoughts are just thought, they are not the ultimate truth or reality. Sometimes we feels that because we care that we do that to others, which is we never think that it might be suffocating for some people, I can not deny that some people might like to be cared much but for most of the people it so disturbing when someone poking into their lives too much even their loved ones. Remember that attachment can lead into the urge to control any circumstances, that lives must goes on my way, that I have to get what I want and these things control you so much till you lose your mind.
How to cultivate detachment in order to maintain a healthy mind in relationships with our loved ones? You have to spend more time for yourself, not just doing nothing idle and let your mind controlling your thinking, you are the one who control your mind and focus on anything what you are doing daily. Thinking only not solve any relationship problem but by action and give space to them to do what they love in a positive way. It will not make any relationship strained if there is no intention to be broken, but the intention is to let the love getting stronger by giving each other an independent life towards each other.
Not many people can exercise certain amount of control in our mind in order to detach from negative thinking, it turns to become problem when we confused our thoughts with our feeling and it cause an impulse action without thinking clearly. Thinking that have to remove negativity that always clouds our mind and see from different points of view. Detachment from thoughts can be practice through meditation, allow you to look at your thoughts as outsider see from our mind eye towards yourself, and you will see that not all thoughts are important. By this mind exercise your negative emotion will slowly disappear and they will not occupy your mind, and you can see things clearly in a more positive way.
Take a look at our live near the end of YTTC and my freelancing job. By spending so much time apart, we learned to become more independent towards each other, hubby have to learn to prepared his own lunch and be more creative even though his profession as chef who prepared meals for other people and when times to prepare his own meals he got confused. For myself is more to restricting myself from keep on messaging him and ask how is he doing, learn to be less controlling and let he enjoy his own solitude. We become more enjoying our accompaniment in silent and conversation more to be have quality and leave the trivial matters behind, we more into brainstorming in every subject and the most important thing is the bond and trust is getting deeper. It was not easy in the beginning but we learn to love more and care less, which is the essence of detachment.
“Mind can be your best friend or worst enemy.”
-Kabira, Birthplace of Happiness
YTTC August 2017