Ahimsa is the first Yama of the eight limbs of Ashtanga yoga which means non violence in Sanskrit. As I first learned about the concept of Ahimsa in the class, it got me to question deeper and deeper about what really Ahimsa means.
The wounds I got from people, the violence that I committed to other people around me and to myself, my violent habits that I am causing to animals and nature, vegetarianism and so on.
But among them it is the most painful when I think about the violence that is committed between man and man. And it seems like it’s the most complicate task for me to change myself according to yoga philosophy.
It is easy to commit violence to one another if you don’t have a good understanding of difference between people because we all have different abilities, personality and different physical and mental conditions.
“Why can’t you? “, ” Why is that so difficult for you? “, ” you can just do it. “, ” I Can’t understand ”
I think I said quite often to just ask or talk to someone like this assuming that it’s an easy thing without thinking much about what might be difficult for other people. Just asking like this without thinking about other people’s difficulties is actually sarcastic remarks or pressure saying like “what is so hard?” rather than to understand other people. In fact I think I just did it like that even though I kind of knew it.
Now taking out the hurting and hardships that I experienced, I just remember the pressuring moments from that kind of questions or comments that I faced from other people at the hardest point of my life and after that I immediately thought of same kinds of violence I did to others.
At that time, I thought they didn’t try enough. Rather than trying to understand their situations first like “there must be a reason for that”. Thinking about those moments I feel sad and guilty.
I am still not sure whether I should apologize to them first. I am still not courageous enough. But if I practice hard to live according to the lesson of Ahimsa, one day I might apologize to them first.
I know that I still have a long way to go to be a real yogi especially that I regret every day of the violent habit done unconsciously but I will not give up.
If I keep trying with constant self-examination then I will be already somewhat close to a yogi.
so I like yoga.
It plants a seed inside me that I could be a better person.