Tapas

Life has been kind to me, considering that I’m not the most industrious of people. Sure, I’ve had my fair share of trials and tribulations, and I can honestly say that whatever I do, I always try to do it to the best of my ability.

I’ve always been interested in exploring new ideas and thoughts. Unfortunately, I’m more of a Jack of all trades, master of none. I think it’s because I give up easily. Finding no reason to try harder or to push myself.

During this 200 hour TTC, I discovered something surprising. I discovered that I could push myself and that I could try harder. And even more surprising than that, I realised that I had the desire and the conscious thought to do it. Not for anything or anyone else. Just for me.

The morning Asana workouts were really challenging. I kept asking myself what I was thinking, taking up this course. What on earth made me think that I could do this …

But learning about the eight limbs of Ashtanga, particularly the second limb – Niyama; taught me that how life unfolds is ultimately up to me. I fell in love with the simplicity and the honesty of its teachings. At times, I even felt humbled as I realised that there were so much more I could do in order that I could be a better me.

The third observance of Niyama was what stuck me the most. Tapas. It means austerity, burning determination. I felt embarrassed with myself as I realised that I was not trying my best. From then on, whenever I felt like giving up, I remember Tapas. I think of the determination that I need and that I could give to myself. Staying in the asanas became possible and I could push myself to go further.

Tapas made me realised that there was so much more I could do in life; if I put my mind to it. It is all up to me. If I wanted something to happen, then I could make it happen, or at least I could try. Life will not change magically, I know. But now, I know that I could always try harder if I wanted to. And I will be a better person for it.

A.