Swadhyaya

Going into the 200 hour TTC, I had many ideas of how it was going to be. I was expecting to come out of the school after 20 days a fit, nimble and expert Yogi. Like a beautiful butterfly coming out of its cocoon. Just a few days in however, I knew that it wasn’t going to be the case.

But what I was not expecting was to learn about myself. My desires and fears. My hopes and limitations. I learnt that Yoga was more than a workout, more than a hobby, more than going to a studio and getting on the mat. It is a way of life, a study of oneself. That was what i learnt from Swadhyaya – the forth Niyama from the second limb of Ashtanga.

It was ok that I was not the best student in class. As a matter of fact, it was ok that I was always struggling, when others seemed to be doing the Asanas so effortlessly. It was ok that I was always corrected and pushed to go further. It was ok that I had to try harder when others were doing so well.

I learnt to accept my faults and weaknesses. I learnt that this learning process was a personal journey that I had chosen to embark on. The outcome was entirely up to me. My destination was not the same as another’s and I learnt to accept everything that came in its way.

I put aside my ego and persevered. When I could not go into Sirsasana, and failed miserably each time I tried, I ignored my shame and kept trying. It was either that or never going forward. I discovered my physical shortcomings and worked on getting over them. Slowly but surely I succeeded. I still get wobbly in my Sirsasana, but I know that in time, and with more practice, I will perfect it. And it would have been thanks to me, to the acceptance of my abilities and my limits.

I intend to apply this knowledge to the other parts of my life. Be it personal or professional, I can only be a better person, knowing that I explore all possibilities and that I put myself out there for whatever life has to throw at me.

I may not come up first each time, but I will grow and I will be enlightened. And isn’t that the most beautiful thing you could ever ask for?

A.