Sirsasana or the Headstand in my very personal interpretation

This is basically the story of how I went through it or better of the quarrel between my brave me and my CRAZY, LAZY, COVARD me.

All started when the first day the teachers said: and now let’s do the headstand.
I’M NOT DOING IT, THEY’RE CRAZY IF THEY THINK I CAN GO WITH THE FEET IN THE AIR AND THE HEAD ON THE GROUND. Come on everybody is doing it. YEAH THEY’RE CRAZY I TOLD YOU. Come on it is not that difficult and then you’re close to the wall nothing wrong can happen. LET’S TRY THEN…..So knees on the mat put both elbows on the mat, cross the fingers leaving a space for the head, then put the head in between them, rise the bottom and walk. When you cannot walk any more kick up and go headstand. DO YOU THINK THIS IS EASY? CANNOT DO IT, I CANNOT KICK AND GO HEADSTAND LIKE YOU’RE SAYING. Come on breath, relax and concentrate. and do it! I TRY….OH MY GOD NEARLY GET THERE, TOO SCARY, CANNOT DO IT, CANNOT RISE MY BACK IN THAT POSITION. Do it! Everybody is doing it. OH GOD MY FEET ARE IN THE SKY AND MY HEAD ON THE GROUND, WHERE IS THE WALL, WERE IS THE WALL? HERE OK. CANNOT STAY HERE I HAD TO GO DOWN…..NOW. Yes but slowly, control it…..AUCH MY FEET!!! I said slowly. Let’s try again. NOOOO, ONE IS ENOUGH FOR TODAY. Just another try, you must do it! YOU’RE WORSE THAN THE TEACHERS! ELBOWS ON THE MAT, HANDS CROSSED, HEAD ON THE MAT, WALK…CANNOT, CANNOT. Do it! THIS IS THE LAST TRY. Ok. OH MY GOD AGAIN HERE, UPSIDE DOWN, WHY DO THEY SAY IT IS SO IMPORTANT TO DO THIS HEADSTAND? IT’S A TORTURE. If you move the weight on the arms it is easier and maybe you can relax a bit. And you are supposed to stay away from the wall. WHAT? DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT, ACTUALLY LET ME CHECK WHERE IS THE WALL. OH VERY CLOSE, GOOD! I COME DOWN, AS FAST AS I CAN, I DON’T MIND ABOUT MY FEET. As you like, but then don’t complain. YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU WERE RIGHT: IF YOU MOVE THE WEIGHT ON THE ARMS IT’S EASIER. And maybe if sometimes you can take the bhandas, as you are supposed to do, it’s even better. TOMORROW.

I don’t want to tire you with this amazing conversation, but after 3 days of this the brave side prevailed a bit. After 3 weeks, the wall is still close but I can stay “upside down” for at list 15 breaths (average length) without checking if the wall is still there. And 3 weeks to go! How much will I improve!!! Thanks teachers. This is yoga! Fight against the inner fears and sometimes win!
Marina