Let’s talk about possessiveness

When I first read about the eight limbs of Ashtanga in the manual given to every student, one of the topics I could relate to the most is Aparigraha, Yama. It means non-possession of anything that gives suffering for someone, abstention from greed, non-possessiveness. We all have desired to have some thing or not have something, and usually we attach lots of meanings to having and not having. It may not be the things we have or not have that make us suffer, but the meaning we created for the situation that troubles us. For example, in relationships, when one person becomes possessive, the freedom for the other person may be constrained. If the possessiveness continues to develop to greater extent, the relationship becomes imbalanced. How to deal with possessiveness? I’ll share my point of views and hopefully it provides a new perspective or reinforces what you’ve already been doing. It starts with me realizing it’s in the space, and acknowledge that it’s impacting my quality of life and/or other people’s quality of life. The next step is to see what makes you possessive, many at times; it has to do something with the past. By identifying some incidents in the past, which has correlation of the way you are being today, half of the work is done. The other half of the work is to catch yourself whenever you are being possessive and take actions. It could be be communicate with someone with more patience, sharing your fear if it’s a safe environment; or doing pranayama, meditation which calms you down and gives you more clarity of the mid before your act. The power of aparigraha is tremendous. When you are not possessive of the body and mind, you live in the present, and this all what we have right here, right now. Lucia